Insecurities Abound

I resisted the urge to begin a blog the whole time that I was off work – then started one as soon as I returned to my job. Doesn’t make much sense does it? I maintained at the time that I really do not have enough to say to actually warrant having a blog. My life is really pretty simple. My kids are busy – in and out with school, work and friends. My job is demanding and my relationship is wonderful.

But then again – not.

I am oddly insecure these days and I really do not understand what is happening to me. I have always been so busy – first as a housewife, then as a housewife working on her degree, then starting my career while finishing my schooling – there was never enough time and I think that we both became accustomed to lowered expectations and independent activities.

Suddenly – I am done. The pressures of being new to my career are abating and I finally finished my post graduate work. The kids are older and we are finally free to ramp up our activity level. I am wanting.

Unfortunately our desires are out of sync now. He has become accustomed to leaving me be to complete my work and I no longer have work to complete. I want attention. I am here and ready but weekdays have become almost kink free zones. I am submissive but I do not serve.

Thing is – now that I have the time – and he does not seem to have the interest – I am starting to feel bad about my place.

But then tomorrow is Friday – the weekend is here – and suddenly I will have to put all my insecurities aside to satisfy my man. It’s not that easy to make the switch.