Yeah!

No cancer -

You know I had no reason to ever think there would be - but the doctors really play on your mind. They treat the whole thing with such urgency - rightfully so, I suppose, had it actually been cancer. So that, even knowing my history and having no real reason to suspect that the lump found was ccancerous your brain starts running toward the 'what if...'

I have to go Thursday to have the stitches out. I am not looking forward to that. The recovery has been surprisingly painful.

I wish that He were here to take care of me. When I got the call from my doctor I did not have anyone even to celebrate with. I had not really spoken to anyone about what was going on and my boys were already booked up with their friends.

Where He is He can not even call home - and I have no means to contact Him. So I had to wait for Him to call before I could even tell Him the news. Then He called and I had 4 minutes to tell Him everything that was going on here. That's it. 4 minutes.

I left a nasty email for Him telling Him that I did not think He should call again. Then a follow up explaining myself. I do not know when He will have a chance to check His email - it could be a few days from now so I am riding out the temptation to sign into His account and delete what I sent. I have not as of yet because even if He is hurt or angry I feel He should be aware of my feelings.

His Girl called His cell phone and left a message for Him but I did not listen to it. I emailed Her to let Her know that He is out of the country and asking if She was just saying Hi or She needed something but I have not heard back yet. Must say - I played with the idea of asking Her to spank me in His absence - but without His say so I am not sure either of us is willing to risk making that decision on our own.

I am having a rough time being completely independent. I'll stop my rambling now....