How you doing?

I am having so much anxiety about my job these days and yet I feel I really have no right to complain. After all I am employed and my home life is wonderful. He treats me so well and cares so strongly for me I feel like the most fortunate girl in the world when I am with my family.

Things are moving along nicely with His girl. We are developing a friendship independent of Him which is also quite nice. He even bought me a cell phone for Christmas so that we can text each other during the day.

He caught me fingering myself the other day - the morning after we had dinner with her - and so I do have a punishment coming. He has decided that she will be part of my punishment so I am super nervous. I have to admit to her on my knees that I was fingering myself while thinking about sucking His cum out of her cunt and ask her forgiveness for using her to get off. Then He will beat me in front of her - I’m guessing with his belt. I am kind of twisted about it. Nervous as hell to be so exposed and vulnerable in front of His girl. She is so much stronger than I am.

The past few days He has been getting creative with how he tortures me. Nothing too extreme though the other day he decided to beat me using knotted anchor line. It was scary as hell. He started out by peeing on me then tied me down beat the hell out of me with the anchor line and fucked my ass. No way to really make that sound pretty. When he was spent he flipped me over and caned the inside of my thighs. I really though he was going to break something with the anchor line. It hurt like hell and was making the worst kind of thudding sound as it hit me. Ironically as bad as it was I have really minimal bruising.

Last night He had me rim Him until He came them scooped His cum off my tits and fed it to me. Honestly I do not mind drinking cum straight from the source but once it hits the air not much squicks me more. I almost prefer tonguing His ass.

I really wanted some affection last night. Maybe some cuddling and some petting but it was not going to happen. I should have known really that he was not in the mood but I was hopeful.

We have no plans for NYE. We never go out on New Years anymore. The roads are crazy and we like to stay close to home in case something happens with one of the boys. This year they will both be out and I was thinking of checking with His girl to see if she wants to have a sleep over. I am unsure about asking though because I do not want to seem too forward. I feel like lately I am almost more interested in being social than He is. I wonder if things are somehow less enticing when you know that you can dictate exactly the outcome you want. Maybe it is more fun when you have to work for your fantasies instead of having two slutty girls willing to do whatever you want. I would have thought He would be living every man’s fantasy but honestly He just seems kind of blasé.